In the past, you’d consider yourself lucky to meet one or two people who you’re not only compatible with but love. Because of social media and its reach, there is a much higher chance of finding people compatible. But if people are now much more likely to find people they’re good with, why do their relationships break so easily? Why is it harder to find love despite having so many more people at hand?
The concept of love:
For a strong connection within a couple to be present, each pair needs to love the other, not for how the other makes them feel but for who they are and can be. Humans are never the same over time. We change and grow. To share a life with someone is to grow and develop along with that other person. Along the way, everyone will fall and have weak moments. But with time and willpower, we’ll all get better and improve with the help of the ones near us.
Abnormal and unrealistic expectations:
The current generation is obsessed with the idea of perfection. The mad value to always getting everything right on the first try and being impeccable in attitude, looks and talents. Humans are not built, never to fail. How ironic is it that we uphold values that go against the very nature of our psyche? Because of this irrational outlook, we often judge people based on their behaviour at just one meeting instead of realizing that there is a lot to them we don’t understand or know. We forget that people can change or be in a bad state of mind when they did and said what we didn’t like. Empathy is extinct, and the emphasis on “self” is greater than ever.
We hate the slightest hints of negativity from people and do not stop to wonder if their behaviour arises from their problems with depression, low self-esteem and heartbreak. We shun people quickly and end up ostracizing them and ourselves. No one is good enough for anyone, and no one wants to understand the other.
Is this just us having high standards and not settling for worse, or just us not accepting flaws and weaknesses built into our human nature?
We’ve devalued human worth.
The extensive selection of people we can pick and choose from makes it easier for us to discard human beings every few months searching for new and better. The greater the supply, the lower the value of each unit – it’s simple economics. The idea spread beyond “there are more fish in the sea” to “there’s always better fish in the sea”.
Non-committal even when in love.
Commitment is the concept of choosing someone we love and deciding to see them through thick and thin, to go through life together and help each other grow to become better people. But when the mindset is that of “there’s always a higher standard to search.” we’re unable to settle for anything just excellent and authentic. People have to realize that there is beauty in people’s potential to grow and support and care. Only then will they know the peace of sharing a perfectly ordinary human life with someone else.